Both Sides Now
by ficdirectory
Summary: JJ thinks about her journey from the soccer field to the BAU.


_If you're attacking, you don't get as tired as when you're chasing._  
- Kyle Rote, Jr.

JJ had always been an athlete.

When she was a child, she danced. But she got sick of just moving and not accomplishing anything. She had constantly been in trouble for blurting out, "When are we gonna _do_ something?" Then, she had dropped all extra-curricular activities.

She played outside, making mud pies, getting dirty, chasing her big sister around the yard with things that she knew would gross Janet out.

But when she found soccer, something inside her clicked. She realized she worked well with others, but she worked exceptionally when she had something to fight against. She was the kid who constantly got flagged for something illegal - when she was little, she liked to hoard the ball - even if that meant picking it up off the grass and running with it. Totally against the rules, but if she didn't do it, the other team would get the ball.

JJ was the one who used to yell at the other kids who spent their time on the field playing with bugs, and in later years would get screamed at by her coach for not being a team player.

Sitting on the sidelines had been humiliating, but JJ had learned something. She would never have admitted it at 17, but it was true. She learned to share responsibilities, to look for openings to let other people shine, chances to teach others. When she did those things, JJ realized, there were still chances to show her skills, but by then, she didn't feel pushed to take them.

It was a great lesson, considering her line of work today.

She still hated to feel she had to make up ground. Hated feeling like they were chasing an unsub instead of right on their heels. But JJ tried to keep perspective. Tried to keep her head in what she was there to do. 

* * *

Going to her hometown was more jarring than JJ had expected it to be. She felt sick knowing that North Mammon was now going to be seared into her consciousness not for fond memories of growing up, but for something heinous. An abduction of three soccer-playing best friends. And instead of cooperating, the townspeople were intent on throwing each other under the bus. Turning on each other.

JJ hadn't meant to, but she'd just snapped.

"What is _wrong_ with you people?"

And then, the call from Garcia that said one of the girls' phones had turned back on just outside the police station. JJ reached them first. One of only two girls who came back.

JJ still shuddered thinking about it. The guy responsible had been the garbage man - a former football star who had suffered a career-ending injury.

On the plane, looking through the next case files, she found herself remembering the terror when she felt her ACL had snapped on the field her senior year. Lying on the field, clutching her knee to her chest, she gritted her teeth, doing her best not to cry out.

But this was it. She had known it somewhere deep inside.

The next week, had been in the campus bookstore at Georgetown. She was feeling crappy and stupid and in need of some major reconstructive surgery - as she had torn not only her ACL but nearly everything else that held her knee together. It was the end of her dream. No more fantasizing about being the next Mia Hamm, going to the Olympics, big time endorsements. Time to grow up.

She came around a shelf, irritated at the animated chatter she heard coming from the area where speakers often came and gave talks about their books and themselves. JJ grimaced. No way in hell she was going to be an author.

But something about this guy had her coming closer, and when a chair was offered, she found herself taking it. She found herself listening to the man that was speaking about criminals. JJ found herself fascinated, and sat through the entire talk. She asked a question and he looked her directly in the eye, as he answered. Not through her, like so many people did now. It gave her hope and let her know that she was more than a soccer star. She wasn't expendable. She could still make a difference.

That night, she bought Dave Rossi's book.

The next fall, she applied to the academy.

But the case in North Mammon still sent a chill through JJ, knowing that she could have easily ended up on either side of a case like that. Either one of the girls who was taken, or the disenfranchised athlete who continued going down the wrong path, because she let herself believe she was nothing more than one-dimensional. In a twist of irony, some months after the North Mammon case, JJ actually found herself working with Dave Rossi, the very person who had given her hope all those years ago.

He didn't remember her. That much was clear. But it didn't matter. Their job mattered.

Staying one step ahead. Attacking their enemy.

And not hogging the ball.


End file.
